January

“I’ve never been to South Korea”, I think to myself. Its another dinner at Gum Yuet Hin - dad doesn’t want to cook because it makes him exhausted, smelling of grease, and more importantly, he feels that my brother doesn’t appreciate his cooking compared to when we are eating outside, such as right now, in Gum Yuet Hin. My brother always suffer from over-promising of something without realizing it to fruition: he asks me if I am down to do a trip with the family to Japan this winter - I said I was super down - but inevitably, when the time for planning comes, it becomes an avalanche of excuses of why not. I find this quality in him or in anyone the most annoying. It was the middle of dinner where I’d decide I will go somewhere this winter alone and I won’t fall prey to paralysis. I wanted to go to Japan again this winter with Maggie and Katie, but they all have new jobs now, and it was demanded they return to Singapore on the 2nd of January. So Taiwan came to mind first; It’s such a close country, 1hr and 30 gets you to Taipei, and I have a lot of friends there. Might even visit Yachi. Yet I found it counter to what I wanted to achieve this year, which the theme was just simply - do something new. I texted Heejoo, she said sure, and I booked a flight right then and there, at the dining table in Gum Yuet Hin. For some reason, outside the immediate discern of an abrupt act of free will or simply the deterministic nature of my impulsive self, I’m going to South Korea.

South Korea was cold - which became a staple theme, in retrospect, for all the trips that I will have in this month. I had to buy myself another North Face because I didn’t even have the necessary clothes for the trip. I also ended up buying an Arctery’x soft shell for 400 pounds. Crazy, I know.

I met with Heejoo on the 2nd day of the trip. The last time I saw her was in London, Nottinghill in fact, and the one previous was in Macao - which had a story so embarrassing I’m not sure I’m brave enough to type it even on here.

I spent a lot of time with Heejoo on this trip to be honest. We basically met up and hung out for two entire days, but funnily enough, it never felt too…much. You know how some friends you can only really meet up and catch up for a few hours before every topic just becomes a bit dry. It wasn’t like that with Heejoo, and given that she was probably one of the few working age adult who doesn’t have to work in Korea - she’s very rich - it was nice to spend time with her, getting to know her.

Like me, Hejoo felt very stagnant in the last year. I understand completely. She doesn’t know what to do with her life. Me too. And she doesn’t find the stuff she was doing interesting. With her completely. People often break into classic topics of “How’s work" and their respective love life when catching up, but Hejoo basically had none of that. She wasn’t working, and the work she is looking to do is in real estate financing (which I kind of rolled my eyes to in my head), and she is dreadfully single. She’s been reading books everyday and that’s about it. In most scenarios, this must have been the hardest person to talk in the entire world. But lately Ive been really subscribing to the idea of “pattern breaking” in conversations - the classical love life, work life, and “how have you been” conversations are so dreadfully recurring - I’ve began trialing asking really random and outrageous questions in order to get some kind of interesting dialogue between people, especially at work. And with Heejoo, it felt like the fact that she is doing none of the typical adult things, we kind of defaulted into random topics immediately. And as that happened, the conversations we had was infinitely more intimate and interesting.

In that way, I felt I got closer with Heejoo in these two days - even though we never talk and almost never meet up. I felt like we bonded a bit.

January ends with one more trip with Vivian. It was an end of an era coinciding with the ending of the first month of 2026. But alas, It’s weird to see how our arc of university, post grad, and the beginning of your second half of your twenties all culminates through our different trips in Europe- ending with Germany. These series of trip has covered such a wide range of my early twenties that I almost forgot how it started in the first place, and thinking back, I really can’t tell you. All I know is that it was a flow of coincidences - Vivian was and is very eccentric, she carried a certain narcissistic nature that can sometimes be a bit too much, and for a first impression and being late to a dinner for about 20 minutes because she had to get the perfect photo down at regent street, I mean, that just encapsulates it all. Vivian can be pretty good at listening - she can listen very well but you can also tell when she isn’t, but tries to. She also has some very interesting things to say, but sometimes I find her subscription to populist leaders and eccentric figures a bit annoying - like thinking Elon Musk is not a cunt and a grifter.

But Vivian has this touch of loyalty and unashamed approach to friend-keeping that I do admire - she reaches out, out of the blue, and simply updates you. She asks how you are. She might not fully listen, but she will also say thank you when she knows she needs to. She shows appreciation and love without being asked.

The trip to berlin sucked - it was miserable, cold, and ugly. Berlin is just kind of ugly. We did not want to go clubbing and generally we felt very tired. It’s an interesting way to end this saga of European trips - we did not end it on a good note, but in a way I reconcile it like this -

I felt stagnant in 2025. Same with Heejoo. I felt that my life was a constant pot of tepid lukewarm water that is not going to boil you alive anytime soon - no frogs here - but an onsen experience where the water is simply not as hot as you want it to be, nor is it cold enough to force you to find a new geothermal vat to jump in. It’s simply — ok. That’s it. It’s ok. How’s life. It’s ok. I don’t want to go into a Whiplash (2014) Fletcher rant here because I’m not here trying to reinvent the wheel on the idea of perfectionism and ultimate masculine self-sacrifice - no, i dont mean that at all actually - but it’s the idea of simply of “Let’s just find out”.

Berlin was shit. Korea was mid. But in it, I moved. I went and did it. I said I would go and I did it, and perhaps this is January for me. The start of 2026 I promised myself I will do something to change what I felt needed changing in 2025. I told my boss that If I was still in the same place, same company by the end of this year, you should simply just fire me. Perhaps the outcome wouldn’t be better at all - but at least the onsen will feel colder or hotter this time.